To the mom who feels like no one understands 

It’s easy to feel like you’re alone and no one understands what you’re going through as a mom, no matter how old or young your child is.

I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone and that at least one mom, but probably many more, get it. And the more we talk about our struggles, the less alone we feel.

Like when all your toddler will eat are hot dogs, hamburgers, fries, and ice cream. I promise you there is another mom out there, feeling guilty that her child doesn’t love apple slices. 

Or when you snap at your little one who just wants you to play with them but you have a chore you want to do or work you need to do or you’re just tired and want to sit for one moment and drink your coffee while it’s hot.

If you’re having a bad day, mama, please do something kind for yourself: a coffee or tea, a favourite song, a bath, or flowers for yourself. You deserve it.

Or when you let your child watch TV or videos so you can get said tasks done but you still feel guilty about it because someone likely posted an article on Facebook that said screen time was bad.

Or when you don’t feel appreciated by your spouse (don’t they see how much you juggle every day?), or your boss (don’t they see how much you accomplish while still being a mom?), or the public health nurse (don’t they see how much work it takes to get your little to an appointment? Why all the questions? Don’t they see you’re doing your best? And that you feel less than adequate, even though you know you shouldn’t, when your child hasn’t said the “right” amount of words yet or weighs in a low percentile?).  

Or when you’re frustrated because your spouse doesn’t understand you’re too tired or touched out for sex. Or when your spouse doesn’t understand you don’t want to have to beg for it either. Or when you feel like your spouse begrudges your need for something just for you (the gym, work outside the home, art, a class, whatever), whether they actually begrudge you or not. Or that just because part of you resents your spouse who gets to leave for work during the day or go out at night doesn’t mean you love your baby any less: you’re just tired and overwhelmed from the sheer responsibility of caring for another human who is utterly dependent on you. (I would just add…please tell your spouse how you’re feeling! No one is a mind reader.)

Or when you get upset because plans with a mom friend fall through because baby or toddler isn’t feeling it, and you know they can’t help it and it’s not personal, but you’re still disappointed and frustrated (why can’t you ever do what YOU want to do?!?!).

Or when your baby won’t nap. Or when your baby naps and ruins your plans. Or when your little one won’t sleep through the night and you swear everyone else’s child is (ha! This is such a lie).

Or when you think you’re the only mom breastfeeding a child older than one. Or you think you’re the only one bottle feeding. Or the only one doing baby-led feeding or the only one spoon feeding purees.

I could go on and on and on! Any of these ring true? Some do for me, so I’m willing to bet some do for you. And you know what helps? Talking about it. I bet you’d be surprised to see how many other moms feel the same as you do. Case in point: I met another mom for a play date and we had more than one struggle in common. She got it. I got it. And we both felt better after talking about it with someone who understood.

Maybe you don’t hear it enough or wish you heard it more: you’re a great mom. You’re not alone. We’re all in this together and we have each other’s backs. Next time you feel alone, please reach out to another mom: you might be surprised to see she feels just like you do.

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