Just another day in the life of a toddler

Wake up a bit earlier than usual, just in case parents were getting too comfortable with the routine.

Alternate between playing with trucks, watching videos on trucks, and banging the gate, thereby signalling you want to go outside.

Crying when your mom answers the door to greet the visitors, again signalling that you’d rather be outside.

So your mom takes you and her friend outside. You point to the stroller, so your mom puts you in, only for you to insist she takes you out. You’d rather walk and guide her and her friend for four blocks in the neighbourhood. That’s pretty tiring, so then she must pick you up. You want her to carry you another two blocks to the park, but she carries you home instead, so you cry in disgust.

Not pictured: the cartoons allowing this photo to be taken.

Decide you’ve been social enough and instead of playing with the two other boys who love all your trucks, you watch videos about trucks. You do look up to wave bye-bye.

Fall asleep two hours earlier than usual for your nap – but that big walk was exhausting! This means you can go to your friend’s birthday party, so your mom is pretty excited about that!

Wake up and get into the car. Drive to birthday party. Walk into the backyard with all the people, immediately get upset, cry, and insist your dad takes you back out to the street, which you walk up and down, pointing at the trucks.

“It’s not my party but I’ll still cry if I want to!”

Dad tries to bring you back, but you repeat. Stay with Mom for a bit while dad uses the washroom. Cry. Go back to the street with Dad, point to your SUV, climb into your carseat and buckle yourself in. Time to go home.

Get home and play with neighourhood friends and then point again to stroller, so your mom and dad take you to the park. Play for a while, have fun, get back in, go home. Get near home and get upset that Mom won’t keep walking around the neighbourhood.


Continue being pretty upset inside. You’re likely hungry, but too upset to eat. Eventually you calm down.

You decide even though you got up earlier, napped earlier, and had a big day, to not go to bed earlier. Won’t fall asleep for Mom, who texts Dad in a pleading manner. He lies down beside you, takes you in his arms, says, “Cub, it’s time to go to bed,” and you promptly fall asleep sprawled out beside him….while Mom thinks both, Why the hell won’t you do that for me? and Thank God, now I can grab a snack and pee.

It’s hard work being a toddler.

THE END.

3 Comments

  1. Hahahahaha! Love it! It IS hard being a toddler when unreasonable parents insist on visiting, going to birthday parties and going to bed at some point before midnight. 🙂 We had so much fun visiting and catching up…even if for just a bit. Some day we’ll take that tropical vacation with kids we discussed. But maybe not for another five years!!

    Like

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