I hope I smile enough

Wasn’t there an article about this recently? I feel like I saw a similar headline floating around Facebook or Twitter. I don’t think I just came up with the thought on my own.

APB has commented to me before that I don’t often smile. My dad has said the same thing.

The thing is, I’m happy. But do I get frustrated? Yep. Don’t we all?

I hope my baby sees me smile. I’m fairly certain he knows I love him so much I could burst. I mean, I routinely tell him and show him and figure I should take advantage that he’ll still let me because one day he might not…..

At least I hope he knows and remembers that when I get frustrated.

Sometimes it’s all too much: the crying because he doesn’t want to leave Grandma to have a nap or go to bed (which is also touching and cute – I’m glad they love each other so much); the frustration he feels and then I feel when he can’t tell me what he wants so he points and kind of grunts (also cute and kind of funny); the dogs whining (they can’t help it if they need to poop); staying at someone else’s house, which inevitably leads to butting heads; all while there’s always a to-do list at the back of your mind.

image
How can you not smile at this face? I look at this photo and can't believe how cute he is and how much I freaking love him.

I fully recognize I have the life I asked for and wanted. That right there is reason enough to smile. No one likes a pity party, but sometimes you just wish for a glass of wine to cry into or to strap on the boxing gloves and hit the pads like you once did.

But I think mostly you just wish someone understood how you’re feeling: overwhelmed and tired from both love and responsibility.

And I think many do know how I feel, so I just need to remind myself of that: I’m definitely not alone in any of it, whether it’s the struggles or the great stuff, whether or not I actually hear those words from people. It’s hard to admit to the struggles. It’s easier to paint a picture of sunshine, rainbows,and unicorns on Facebook and Instagram. Pretty sure that’s what they were created for.

The other day I was upset about something and APB said I should go back and read my blog because it had some good advice. Perhaps it’s time to remind myself that it’s the little things that matter the most and bring us joy….and no doubt bring smiles to our faces.

4 Comments

  1. What a little cutie you have there 😍
    I stumbled across your blog and I am so glad… I was also blogging this week about how difficult it is some days to not get sucked down by all the drudgery of motherhood… But when we switch our perspective, wow! What beauty and love there is waiting for us!!

    Like

    1. Thank you for reading! It’s the toughest but most rewarding job in the world…everything else is distraction but life and needs to be done, too, hey? Doesn’t make it any easier but helps to know other moms feel the same.

      Like

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